A trimester report because I have been very busy!
Humiliation Fetish: When Dirty Means Hot! A to Z Fetish Series
Erotic Humiliation Fetish is one of the most popular niches on BDSM. Be it made by verbal humiliation, where the submissive is degraded with words, or physically by shameful tasks the Dominant come up with for the sub to perform. Or both!
One of the first things I do before starting a session focused on humiliation is asking for triggering words and words that are limited. Everything must be consensual and the intention is never to offend the audience but to produce a sexual response through the reframing of dirty insulting words and actions into pleasure.
It's important to remember that for Humiliation Fetish to work these actions must come from a place of shame, although they are not shameful by themselves. It's a psychological play that varies from person to person and accordingly to their own believes, that's why each humiliation session is very unique and customized.
The most famous humiliation kink is the Small Penis Humiliation (SPH).
Many philosophers deem that our society is phallocentric, it started with Freud analyzing that every male child has a phallic stage when all their attention is taken by their own penis.
There is the idea that somehow the size of the phallus (penis) denotes masculinity. We all know rationally that "it's not the size of the wand, it's the magic in it".
But kinky have little to do with rationalization.
That's why Small Penis Humiliation is so popular, it touches feelings that are deeply ingrained in everyone's mind. "What if your cock is so small that it could never make a woman cum? What if the only way that you can make a woman smile is by laughing at how small your cock is? What if your dick is worthless and that you should only focus on your ass?" These are some of the questions that come with SPH fetish.
One of my favorites SPH roleplays is when I take the role of a doctor and inform my "patience" about how small his penis is. I even have a microscope to make it look as real as possible!
Many times SPH crosses over with forced bi. The complete notion that a man with a tiny penis couldn't make a woman cum so they should focus on the opposite sex instead and become gay.
And this fantasy can take over many other aspects, such as forcing a straight cis man to wear female clothes and act like one against his will (crossdressing / sissification / bimbofication).
Another common cross-over fetish is cuckolding. If your partner can't have pleasure with you, your wife should be fucking other men. And making you watch!
I have a client that calls me for phone sex and I describe for him every type of man his wife is fucking behind his back, I compared them with him and degrade him in the process. In the end, I tell him he will only be allowed to cum by watching his significant other taking load after load, and then he will have to clean up her holes with his tongue like the dirty little bitch that he is. These sessions are so good that If I kept my phone on speaker, my neighbors would be able to hear his moans!
As much as small cock humiliation is fun, not everyone has a small one. A sub can be made fun of for having a limp dick, for cumming too fast (premature ejaculation), or never cumming at all. Believe it or not, there's even a category of big cock humiliation.
I have a dear regular that has a huge cock and one of the things I love to do is making him wear a cock cage (chastity device) with panties on top.
Verbal humiliation also can go beyond genitals.
Words like "slut" and "whore" are some of the highest trigger words. Many of my clients completely lose their minds when they are called my "anal sluts"!
In a puritanic culture, where sexual pleasure is seen as perverted and wrong, words that show sexual agency and freedom are perceived negatively. And here comes Humiliation Fetish to resignify these words and allow the stigma to work pro our sexuality and not against it.
One of my favorite humiliation tasks is to make my submissives write derogatory words all over themselves. Words like "pig" and "cumslut" or even draw arrows to their holes and write "FREE" can be really fun.
I always ask my subs to use whiteboard markers, because it's very easy to clean after the session. If they don't have it, they can put tape on their bodies and write over it, later throw the tape away with no mess.
The concept of "toilet slave" comes up now and then when I'm discussing humiliation sessions when we have watersports (pee) fetish mixed with humiliation. Have a woman squat on your face and give you a golden shower, drink her piss and then lick her clean.
Not all pee fetishists are into humiliation, but many are.
Exposure Fetish can be a great mix! I've written a whole article about how fun it is to expose people, and doing it in a humiliation setting is extremely arousal.
I have a client that likes to wear diapers. Making him go outside and pee on his diapers while walking on the street and later sending me pics of his body with dirty diapers on so I can expose him to everyone on Twitter is very hot for both of us!
I also make him masturbate with dirty diapers and cum on them. I know it's nasty, but we love it. Cum Eating Instructions (CEI) can also be part of humiliation fetish. Some people believe that getting in contact with semen is gay or humiliating per se. I'm not here to judge, if you like humiliation fetish and want to be made fun of your face covered in jizz, I'm here for it.
Laughing is a fetish under the Humiliation category, many guys get off on the sound of a pretty girl laughing about them.
A much-requested roleplay is when I dress up like a schoolgirl or cheerleader and reenact bullying scenes that the client suffered in school. This is a type of catharsis, a release of trauma through an intense emotional discharge that happens in a controlled environment.
To be honest, my first encounter with humiliation fetish didn't make me interested. I'm one of these people whose "love language" is words of affirmation. I'm a kind person and always try to see the good side of others and compliment them for it.
For some time I refused to perform humiliation play on submissives because I couldn't see how it could be positive, it felt so opposite from my way of life.
Then I met a Dom. Although I'm a switch I don't sub often, we need to click very well for me to be open to it, as submission is a gift and can't be faked.
We got along so well and his biggest turn-on is verbal humiliation. I agreed to try and for some reason, our session made me extremely horny, it was so intense! My own experience as a sub taught me how to play with humiliation and why it can be so amazing for the receiving end.
I believe what draws so many people to humiliation play is exactly this feeling of catharsis. It helps people to resignify words, acts, and experiences through sexual and psychological pleasure. Turning bad things into good things.
In the end, my love language is still in motion, just with a little twist ;)By the way, a Dominatrix specialized in humiliation is called a Humiliatrix!
Have you ever tried Humiliation Fetish?
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